I accidentally burped into my bong.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need a sexual gate keeper
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize