"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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