six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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