when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
