happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Holy shit dude........stairs
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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