thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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