What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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