FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
