My room smells like vodka and shame
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Is it penis luge time yet?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
