Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
