she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Can you repeat that, but with context?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
