I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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