I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
