He is such a slut. More and more my type.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
