Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
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at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
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And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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