i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
