I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Dear god my vagina.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize