are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
