You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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