Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
