Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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