I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
