Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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