Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Let's get the cat blown out
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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