i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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