the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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