I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
