So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
