How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
