I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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