the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
you would pick up someone in the library
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
