I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
