then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
love makes seman taste better
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
