Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
