Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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