Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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