I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
We have started to decorate penises.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
