You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
God, you're like boner-b-gone
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
