I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize