tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
