oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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