Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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