I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
3pm strippers are depressing
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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