Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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