Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
