Betty ford says i'm here all night
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize