he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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