Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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