i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
