i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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