I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I think my fart just growled at me.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
