girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize