cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
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thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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