He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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