i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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