in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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