Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
